My wife doesn’t know that I sometimes imagine her with another man. I’ve been keeping the fantasy to myself, turning it over in my head. I’m Safras, and I live in Bangalore. So far, I haven’t found a moment when I felt ready to say any of this out loud to her.
In my head, I can spend as much time on the thought as I want and then go on with my day. If I tell her, she’ll have her own reaction to it, and I have no idea what that will be. She might wonder how long I’ve been thinking about it or ask why I’m bringing it up now. She might feel uncomfortable enough to want to leave the conversation there. I can imagine what I’d say to start, but everything after that depends on how she feels hearing it.
I’m still working out what I’d want her to understand about me if I brought it up. I’d like to be able to talk about something this personal without making her feel like she has to give me an answer on the spot. Even that feels a little ahead of where I am. For now, she has no idea, and I’m giving myself more time to understand the fantasy before I decide how to tell her.
