A friend from college told me she’s cheating on her husband. It’s been going on for about a month, and ever since she told me, I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to put it out of my mind.
Her husband was transferred to a new location. While he’s been away, she started seeing a coworker she was already attracted to. That alone would have been enough to leave me wondering what to do with the information.
But the coworker is engaged to another friend of mine.
So now there are two people in my circle who don’t know what I know. Her husband is away, and his fiancée is preparing to marry him. I didn’t go looking for any of this, but hearing it has made staying uninvolved feel much less simple than I expected.
At first, I wanted to leave it alone. She’s my friend, and I don’t want to become the person who sets off a confrontation in everyone else’s relationship. But I also don’t get the impression this is about to stop. A month has already passed.
Then there’s what I’ve heard about the coworker’s behavior toward his fiancée. According to my friend, he’s possessive enough that he doesn’t allow her to use social media. He supposedly doesn’t like other people seeing her online.
That detail is hard to get past. He wants that much control over who can see his fiancée while he’s having an affair with someone else’s wife. It makes the secret feel uglier every time I turn it over.
I keep trying to think about one relationship at a time, but they’re tangled together. Telling her husband could expose what the coworker is doing. Telling his fiancée could expose my friend. Saying nothing leaves both of them without information I’d struggle to dismiss if I were in their position.
My friend has told me her secret. I’m still sitting with it, wondering whether I should tell her husband—and how I could do that without also thinking about the other friend who deserves an answer.
