I know his wife. He knows my fiancé. I can say those two things in one breath, and they’re the part I find hardest to sit with. The people we’re keeping this from are people we know. For almost a year, neither of them has known about the affair.
We’ve tried to end it. I wish I could say what changes between the moment we decide it’s over and the moment we come back to each other. Both times, I believe what I’m doing. I mean it when I want it to stop. Then I’m with him again, and being with him feels right in a way I have a hard time admitting.
I know what we’re doing is wrong. I knew it the last time we tried to stop, too. I still went back. Almost a year in, I find myself asking how people get through the part where they’ve decided it’s over and still want to go back.
I want to end this. So far, every time I’ve tried, I’ve ended up with him again. How do you make it stick?
