My cousin got the news of my divorce around the family before I’d even moved out. By Christmas, he was making jokes about it. I asked him in private to stop, and he told me I needed thicker skin. Apparently that was easier for him to suggest than giving up the material.
Last month we were all having dinner at my aunt’s house when he brought it up again. This time he told the table that my divorce was probably the best thing that had happened to my ex. I’d heard enough versions of this over the years to know he could keep going if everyone let him.
I looked at him and asked, “Does your wife know you lived with another woman for six months before you two got engaged?”
I knew about the woman because my cousin had stayed with me during that stretch. He’d introduced her to me himself, as his girlfriend. Until that dinner, he’d been able to talk about my marriage in front of the family without anyone asking much about his own.
The whole table went quiet. His wife asked me what I meant, and my cousin immediately tried to change the subject. I left shortly after. I don’t know what he told her once I was gone, but apparently they’ve been fighting about it ever since.
I could have told her privately. I probably should have. She was sitting there having dinner, and suddenly she was the one asking a question in front of the whole family. I’d asked mine right then because I wanted him to know what it felt like to have someone put your private life on the table. After years of him doing it to me, I wanted him to feel it once. I’m hardly proud of how I handled it. I’m still glad I said it.
