I’m 27, single, and usually comfortable walking up to a woman I find attractive. Starting a conversation isn’t some enormous hurdle for me. If I like someone, I’d rather say hello than spend the whole time wondering what might have happened.
I think I’m pretty good at conversation. I also think I’m reasonably handsome—at least a six out of ten, if I’m putting a number on it. That isn’t a claim that anyone owes me attention. It’s just part of why the constant lack of interest has become so hard to understand.
By my own estimate, I’ve approached around a thousand women. That’s a lot of introductions, and from my side, the response has felt overwhelmingly cold. Little friendliness, little interest, and very little sense that a conversation might go anywhere.
When I’m frustrated, I catch myself describing the women I’ve approached as shallow. But I don’t actually know much about someone from a brief exchange. What I do know is how those exchanges have felt to me, especially after so many of them have ended the same way.
I’m not perfectly confident every time. Sometimes I get shy while I’m talking, even though I was comfortable enough to walk over. I try to be a gentleman, and my intentions are good. Still, whatever I think I’m bringing to the conversation doesn’t seem to be coming across in a way that leads to mutual interest.
One rejection is disappointing. A long string of them starts following you into the next introduction. I still enjoy the possibility of meeting someone, but I’m getting worn down by how consistently it seems to stop at the beginning.
I’m curious whether other single guys recognize this. Are you starting conversations and finding some interest along the way, or does it feel like rejection after rejection for you, too?
