I’ve never been cheated on, but lately I catch myself wondering whether faithfulness is something people mean only until it becomes inconvenient. That doubt started about a year ago, when I discovered my sister was having an emotional affair.
As far as I know, nothing physical happened. There were messages, though, and an emotional involvement that went beyond an ordinary friendship. That was enough to shake me, especially because of who she had always been to me.
She’s eleven years older than I am. I’ve looked up to her for as long as I can remember, and her feelings about cheating had never seemed complicated. She strongly disapproved of it. I couldn’t imagine her tolerating it from a partner, much less doing it herself.
When I confronted her, I wanted her to acknowledge what was happening. I think I expected the same clear judgment I’d heard from her before, even if applying it to herself was painful.
Instead, she told me it was normal. She said she still loved her husband but wanted to feel alive again. There were explanations and excuses I never expected to hear from her, delivered by the person whose certainty about this had once seemed so dependable.
Her response has stayed with me. I could understand being shocked by someone’s behavior and then hearing them admit they had crossed a line. It was harder to hear her describe that line as something ordinary people step over.
Since then, I’ve found myself taking one thing I know about my sister and wondering what it means about everyone else. I realize that’s a much bigger question than one experience can answer. Still, it follows me into the way I think about relationships.
I want to believe people can love someone, remain attracted to them, and keep choosing a faithful life together. I want that possibility to feel solid again.
Are there still plenty of people who believe in that and live by it? Or did my sister show me something common that I simply hadn’t had to see before?
