For more than three years, our relationship existed between countries. We met each other’s families, shared important experiences, and talked about getting married. Eventually, the distance was supposed to end. I was preparing professional steps toward moving to his city, where we might finally live together.
Now he has asked me not to contact him. I’m respecting that, even though almost everything in me wants another conversation.
I’m 25, and he’s 28. Early on, before we officially became a couple, I had experiences with other people. But there was also a period when we had agreed to try being exclusive, and during that time I slept with someone else once. I hid it. When he asked about my past, I wasn’t completely honest.
In August 2025, he discovered that I had left out information about previous partners. We tried to move forward. I promised that he knew everything. Recently, another conversation brought out something I still hadn’t disclosed, and I eventually told him the complete truth. By then, my promise that there was nothing left to tell had become another reason he couldn’t trust me.
He says he wants to end the relationship. I still love him, but I can understand why hearing the truth now doesn’t undo the earlier dishonesty.
I’m starting to recognize how often I hid things because I was afraid of being judged or abandoned. That fear explains something about my behavior; it doesn’t erase what I did. It’s also something I need to work on whether or not we ever speak again.
Meanwhile, the practical future has changed along with the relationship. The move, the professional plans, the possibility of sharing a home—all of it is suddenly uncertain. I had been arranging my life around a destination that may no longer be there.
I want to hear from people who have lived through something like this. How did you face your own dishonesty and respect someone’s request for space while still wanting to repair things? And what did you do with the future you had already started preparing for?
