A satirical fiction.
Dale’s dating profile included his expensive car, a terrace with an impressive view, and several carefully accidental references to success. He wanted someone who would love him for himself. He had provided very little information about that person.
Hannah, an influencer, suggested collaborations. Dale was unsure whether she meant romance or a promotional arrangement. After three weeks and an unsolicited wish list, he concluded that she was interested in his money.
Samantha described a wellness business she hoped to build. The business had enthusiasm, a name, and no clear plan. Dale discovered that he had been assigned a role in its financing without applying.
Jessica loved travel. They discussed restaurants and holidays at length, then discovered over dinner that they had very different expectations about who would pay for them.
After each disappointment, Dale complained that nobody seemed interested in his personality. His friend asked which part of his profile described it.
Dale pointed to a photograph of himself beside the car.
“That’s a car,” his friend said.
The problem was not that Dale needed to finance a partner, or that everybody who enjoyed an expensive dinner wanted to stop working. It was that he kept leading with a lifestyle and feeling insulted when people asked about participating in it.
He rewrote the profile to mention cooking, hiking, and his unusually strong opinions about bad film endings. There were fewer responses. The conversations became more interesting.
For the first time, someone disagreed with him about something other than an expense. Dale found the experience surprisingly intimate.
