I’m 27, and I’ve been single for almost a year after a five-year relationship. For a while, living independently had its own momentum. There was freedom in making decisions without having to fit them around another person.
I moved to a new country. I met interesting people I probably wouldn’t have met if I’d stayed in a relationship. I have a great group of friends, hobbies I enjoy, and a career moving in a direction I feel good about. When I say I’m happy with my life, I mean it.
But the novelty has mostly worn off, and I miss sharing the ordinary parts with someone. A good day can still feel a little bland without that particular person to share it with.
What I miss is specific: waking up next to someone I love, making breakfast for them, having a whole day of things planned together. Being able to care for someone in the small, familiar ways that become part of a relationship.
My closest friendships matter enormously to me. They just don’t give me the same kind of intimacy. I can have a full social life and still miss the feeling of being somebody’s partner.
That’s why I’ve been curious about the women I know who are single. When we talk, including at events where I’ve met new people, many don’t seem especially interested in finding a relationship. Some say the dating pool isn’t appealing. Others value their independence too much to want to change it.
I enjoy my independence, too, which is where I get stuck. Most of the single men I know still seem to want a relationship eventually. Among the women in my life, that desire seems less common—or at least less urgent.
After hearing other people’s perspectives, I have more to consider about my own dating life. I’m still curious about the distinction, though: are the women I know content without romantic love, discouraged about finding it, or simply enjoying something I’m still learning how to enjoy?
