I woke up to the sound of water, which would have been less concerning if it had been coming from anywhere equipped to handle water. Instead, my boyfriend was standing at my dresser, peeing into a drawer.
We’ve been dating for about six months. I’m 26, he’s 30, and until tonight I had assumed we shared a basic understanding of furniture.
He’d gone out with friends and come over afterward to spend the night. He was extremely drunk: slurred words, eyes not quite cooperating, the whole presentation. I’d just gotten home from work and needed a shower. By the time I came out, he was asleep on the couch.
I left him there and went to bed. A sleeping boyfriend on a couch seemed like a situation that required very little supervision.
Then I woke up.
I yelled, asking what he was doing. He answered, “Peeing?” There was a question in his voice, as though I had interrupted him during an activity whose purpose should have been obvious.
When I asked why he was peeing in my drawer, he said, “Because I can pee here.” A confident statement from a man with absolutely no authority over the matter.
I kept yelling until he stopped, then made him go to the actual bathroom. He was so drunk that I don’t think he understood what was happening. I understood enough for both of us.
I put on gloves and emptied the drawer. Everything went into the washing machine. There are unpleasant household chores, and then there is handling your own belongings while trying to process your boyfriend’s enthusiastic misunderstanding of where the toilet is.
I told him I was going to drive him home. He said I didn’t need to. Apparently, he felt the evening was proceeding acceptably.
He’s asleep on the couch again now. I went into my bedroom and shut the door because I was close to saying things I couldn’t take back.
I’m angry, disgusted, and unsure how I’m supposed to face him in the morning. We’re adults. I hadn’t expected to need an explanation for why my dresser should remain a dresser.
