Some people seem to approach dating with a fairly specific opening in mind. Companionship is welcome, of course, but the successful applicant should also be comfortable handling luggage and incidental expenses.
I know a woman whose vacations with her boyfriend appear to run on this arrangement. He pays for everything. He carries all the bags. He handles the hotel check-ins. She goes on vacation, and he provides the infrastructure.
They’re the same age, which makes the whole thing more impressive. He hasn’t eased into this role after a lifetime of managing a large estate. He’s apparently qualified for it through dating.
Maybe they’re both perfectly happy. I don’t have access to their internal reviews. But when one person is funding the trip, transporting its contents, and getting everyone into the room, the job description has grown considerably beyond boyfriend.
Women are who I date, so that’s where I notice this particular dynamic. I keep coming across different expectations about what being together should involve. Some of them are compatible with mine. Some seem to require a uniform.
The funny part is that I’m currently seeing someone who gives me a similar impression. Enough of one that I don’t see this becoming a relationship as things stand. Changes would have to happen, and I’m not especially interested in starting a renovation project with another adult.
For now, casual works. We barely see each other, and I’m not in a hurry to get into another relationship. There isn’t some grand decision pressing against the calendar. I can enjoy the arrangement we actually have without promoting it into something I already suspect wouldn’t suit me.
So I’m leaving it where it is. We see each other occasionally. Nobody needs a development plan. And if I ever do take on responsibility for all the bags, I’d at least like to know whether the position includes paid vacation.
