On Saturday, my sister called my boyfriend about something that had nothing to do with me. He spoke to her normally, then quietly asked whether I was sitting beside her. When she said yes, he didn't have much more to say. She ended the call when our dad came into the room. I still hadn't heard from him.
By Sunday, it had been three days. No call, no text, not even a reel. Our last conversation had been on Thursday, and it had seemed normal. That is the part I keep coming back to: I didn't think we had left something hanging, but now I'm trying to work out whether he did.
I'm 22 and he's 23. We've been together for roughly a year and a half to two years, with a few breakups along the way. Recently, though, things had been improving. He was more affectionate. He initiated calls, checked on me and made an effort. I had started feeling the difference, which makes this sudden gap harder to understand.
Last week, we argued on consecutive days. I know I contributed. During one argument, I provoked him a little; the next day, a misunderstanding became another disagreement. He got frustrated and said things that hurt, and I was upset too. By Wednesday, we had more or less worked through it. Thursday's ordinary conversation seemed to support that. I hadn't expected us to stop talking afterward.
Going a few days without contact isn't new for us. Sometimes he needs space, sometimes he isn't feeling well, and sometimes I reach out first. There have also been times when he has come back and started the conversation himself. So I can't honestly treat these three days as something he has never done before. I can only say that, after the breakups, they don't feel like a harmless pause to me.
He recently told me he felt emotionally exhausted and described himself as feeling dead inside. I don't know how much of that has to do with us. He might be taking space, or he might be pulling away from the relationship. I don't have enough to settle that question, and hearing him speak normally to my sister didn't settle it either.
What stayed with me was that he asked whether I was there. He was aware of me during that call, yet I still didn't hear from him directly. I can't turn that detail into an explanation. He could talk to her, but I was still waiting for him to talk to me.
I get anxious about distance between us, especially because we have broken up before. I also catch myself comparing us with his previous relationship, even though that doesn't tell me what he's thinking now. I want to be fair about my part in last week's arguments without making every uncomfortable feeling proof that I've caused this.
I miss him, and I want him to call. I could contact him, as I have before, but I don't want reaching out to become my automatic job. I don't want to turn waiting into a contest either. It's Sunday, and I'm still hoping he'll be the one to get in touch.
