I’m 54, I’ve been divorced for a while, and I’m realizing there are things I’d still like to try in my intimate life. I was married for a long time, and we didn’t experiment much. That was how things were between us. Now I’m curious about what a different experience might look like.
One thing I’d like to explore is recording intimacy with someone I’m dating. Even putting that into words makes me a little self-conscious. In my head, it’s a private curiosity. I worry that saying it out loud could make a woman hear something much less comfortable.
I don’t have a particular conversation to report or a partner’s response to work through. This is still a question about how I would bring it up. I’d want her to be interested, too, and to feel completely comfortable saying no. I just don’t know how to introduce the subject without making the moment awkward.
There’s a lot packed into that one request. It involves being seen, being recorded, and trusting another person with something private. I can understand why someone might have questions before she even knows whether the idea appeals to her.
What I’m having trouble finding is the ordinary language for it. I want to be honest about something I’m curious about without sounding as though I’ve arrived with an agenda. After so many years of barely experimenting, even starting the conversation would be new territory.
So that’s what I’d like to ask women: if someone you were dating wanted to explore this, how would you want them to bring it up? I can admit I’m interested. It’s the next sentence I’m still trying to find.
