If I asked a man to dress as his favorite fictional character for sex, would he enjoy being that character—or mainly enjoy how much I enjoyed it? That's the part of bedroom roleplay that interests me. The costume is easy to notice. Whose fantasy we're acting out is a little less obvious.
I'm a woman who loves Star Wars, DC, and Marvel. Familiar roleplay setups, like teacher and student, have never particularly appealed to me. No objection to anyone else's fun; they just aren't the stories that catch my imagination. Give me a character I already care about, though, and the question gets more interesting.
What started me thinking was the effort men put into their Halloween costumes. Some clearly wanted more than an outfit that technically qualified them for the party. They had committed to the look. I began wondering whether that enthusiasm might extend to playing a character privately with a partner.
Batman, Cyclops, Jason Todd, Master Chief, Anakin Skywalker: those names suggest very different performances. A man might like the costume, the character's confidence, the voice, or simply the chance to be someone other than his everyday self for a while. I wouldn't assume which part appealed to him. Liking a character on screen doesn't automatically mean wanting to bring him into sex.
There's also a difference between dressing up and staying in character. One person might happily wear the outfit but find the acting distracting. Another might enjoy a recognizable attitude without wanting to source every accessory. Someone else could love the whole production. Those aren't different levels of commitment to a partner; they're different versions of the game.
The distinction I keep coming back to is between sharing a fantasy and performing one as a favor. A man can enjoy turning his girlfriend on without having the same crush on the character she does. But my curiosity goes further: is there a character he would choose because playing him would be fun for him? His answer could take the idea somewhere my own list wouldn't.
And my list is not exactly short. Alongside superheroes and space operas, there are game characters: Leon Kennedy, Arthur Morgan, Dante and Vergil. Then there is Optimus Prime, which introduces a fairly ambitious wardrobe question. The range is part of the appeal. A fantasy doesn't have to follow one standard script just because the familiar examples usually do.
I can imagine the awkwardness of trying to keep a perfectly serious character voice when both people know exactly who's under the costume. For some couples, laughing might spoil the effect; for others, that could be half the pleasure. Neither possibility tells me how a particular man would feel. It does make the difference between enjoying a character and enjoying playing him clearer.
I still don't have a man's answer to the question that started this. I have a growing cast of possibilities, a new appreciation for Halloween effort, and one especially demanding entry on the costume list: Optimus Prime.
