If I’m interested in a woman but haven’t made a move, does she wait for me to get there, or does she eventually assume nothing is happening and move on? I keep coming back to the gap between what I might feel and what she could actually know.
From my side, hesitation could contain all kinds of things: attraction, nerves, a wish to choose the right moment. From hers, it might just look like a man who hasn’t shown much interest. She wouldn’t have access to the explanation I’m carrying around.
And “waiting” is a slippery word. Would she be actively hoping I’d say something, or simply open to it if I did? Those seem like very different situations, even though I could mistake either one for having more time.
I don’t expect every woman to handle it the same way. She might make the first move herself. She might lose interest. She might like me and still decide she doesn’t want to keep wondering. None of those possibilities tells me which one I’d be facing.
What I’m really curious about is the point where an unanswered possibility starts feeling like an answer. There may be no obvious change for me to notice. I could still be deciding how to begin while she’s already stopped expecting anything to happen.
So when I’m trying to work up the nerve, how much time do I actually have—and would I recognize it if that time had passed?
