If I were getting serious with a woman who told me she wanted to wait for sex, I wonder what my honest answer would be. Not the answer that sounds most patient or the one I might give without thinking. How long would I actually feel comfortable waiting?
In this situation, she’s communicated what she wants. The relationship is moving in the right direction. We’re building something serious, so the question isn’t whether there’s any connection. It’s how I would experience a relationship where sex hasn’t become part of it yet.
A number sounds useful at first. A few weeks. Several months. Longer. But the same amount of time could feel different depending on how close we were becoming and how openly we could talk. I might feel settled and wanted, or I might start wondering whether our expectations matched.
Wanting sex wouldn’t disappear just because I cared about her. Her wish to wait wouldn’t become less valid because I felt ready. I’d have to be honest about my own feelings without turning them into pressure on her.
That’s why the word “tolerate” feels a little cramped for what I’m asking. I’d still be choosing to be there, spending time with someone I wanted in my life. Yet choosing the relationship wouldn’t automatically make the waiting easy.
So, assuming she was clear with me and things kept getting more serious, where would my limit be? Would I even know it in advance, or only recognize it once I was there?
