There’s a part of sharing a consensual kink with my partner that I find harder to talk about than the kink itself: what happens when the encounter is over and the third person is still there.
I enjoy cuckolding, and I’m there with her during our encounters. My discomfort comes afterward. Once the session ends, having another man around my partner feels awkward in a way that participating doesn’t.
Even the usual names for his role don’t sit comfortably with me. “My wife’s boyfriend” or “friends with benefits” suggests a connection that I don’t want to assume is part of this. I’m interested in the encounter, but those descriptions seem to extend his place in our lives beyond it.
What I’d prefer sounds simple when I say it plainly: he comes over, we have our agreed-upon session, and afterward he goes about his day. I’m wondering whether that’s an arrangement people actually make work, or whether I’m overlooking something.
The biggest sticking point for me is comfort and aftercare. I associate those things with romance. The idea of him comforting my partner afterward bothers me, even though I’m comfortable with the sexual part. That may sound like an odd place to draw a line, but it’s where I feel the difference.
I haven’t spoken to her about this yet. For now, it’s my preference, not an agreement we’ve reached. I want to bring it up, and I’m trying to find words that explain what feels uncomfortable without making the conversation more tangled than it already is.
I’d like to hear from people who have dealt with this part. Can the third person’s involvement end with the session in a way everyone agrees to? And how do I explain that, for me, the closeness afterward feels like a different kind of involvement?
