A satirical dating column.
The profile says thirty-nine. The biography says fifty. The explanation blames the app, which has apparently become the world’s most determined opponent of accurate birthdays.
There may occasionally be a genuine technical problem. But the familiar line can also function as a convenient arrangement: appear in searches for younger people, then disclose the actual age after the introduction has already happened.
“Age is just a number,” the profile adds. If so, it is curious how carefully this particular number has been selected.
The issue is not being fifty. A fifty-year-old can be attractive, interesting, and exactly the person someone wants to meet. The difficulty is beginning with information that asks the other person to disregard a preference they had already expressed.
The same problem would exist in reverse. A misleading age does not become charming because the reason sounds sympathetic or the photographs are flattering.
There is also the first-date conversation to consider. Instead of talking about your work, interests, or astonishingly specific opinions about breakfast, you are explaining the birthday. The birthday has become the most active participant at the table.
Correct the profile if you can. If the service genuinely prevents it, make the accurate information prominent and resolve the account problem rather than treating it as a permanent marketing advantage.
Getting older is ordinary. Requiring a date to perform arithmetic before trusting the introduction is a choice.
