I’ve spoken to women at clubs. About three times, I think. In every case, they approached me, so my current strategy depends heavily on someone else handling the opening.
It’s a comfortable system. Limited availability, though.
I think I’m a reasonably good-looking guy. I even have photos in my post history if anyone wants to investigate that claim. Unfortunately, being satisfied enough with my appearance hasn’t translated into walking over and saying something.
That’s the part where I get scared.
From a distance, starting a conversation sounds like a modest undertaking. People do it all the time. Then I’m actually at a club, considering approaching a woman, and suddenly the distance between us seems to require advance planning.
The few conversations I’ve had prove that I’m capable of talking once someone opens the door. I just keep waiting for her to open it, hold it, and possibly wave me through.
I don’t have a story about finally working up the nerve and discovering a brilliant opening line. So far, the story is that I’ve been too nervous to approach anyone myself. The three times women approached me remain the entire available sample.
That’s what I’m trying to figure out: how do you start a conversation with a woman at a club when you’re used to being the person who gets approached? What does that first ordinary, respectful hello actually look like?
I’d like to contribute something to the process besides being locatable.
