I’m 20, I’m in a long-distance relationship, and lately I’ve really liked getting attention from other men. Those facts sit awkwardly together, but they’re all true.
The long-distance part is supposed to end soon. I know that matters. Still, knowing we won’t be apart much longer hasn’t stopped me from feeling lonely now. There’s the relationship I’m in and the day-to-day feeling of missing someone, and lately that second part has been taking up a lot of room.
I’ve started posting more on social media. Men have noticed, and I like it. That’s the part I feel a little exposed admitting: the attention is flattering. I enjoy knowing someone has looked at what I posted and wanted to respond.
I haven’t done anything explicit. Some of the comments from men, though, haven’t exactly been innocent. I’m aware of that distinction even as I write it. Saying what I haven’t done doesn’t quite explain how much I enjoy what’s coming back.
I don’t have a dramatic event to confess. There’s no bigger development tucked behind this. I’m lonely, I’m posting more, and being noticed feels good. It’s a small situation that feels harder to say out loud than it probably looks from the outside.
Soon, the distance between my boyfriend and me is supposed to change. For now, I keep coming back to the part I can’t dress up: I’m in a relationship, and I like the attention.
