I miss him, which feels a little embarrassing to admit when the next thing I have to say is that he ghosted me. Those two facts sound awkward together. I keep wanting the second one to cancel out the first.
The crying has surprised me most. This is the first time I’ve cried over a man. I didn’t know this would be the situation that got me there: missing someone who disappeared, without even knowing why I miss him this much.
Even saying “I really miss him” feels more honest than I’m comfortable with. I’d rather have something casual to say, something that makes this sound like a passing annoyance. But then I’m crying, and the casual version doesn’t hold up very well.
I don’t have a neat explanation for it. There’s the fact that he ghosted me, and then there’s how I feel. Knowing what happened hasn’t made the missing stop.
Mostly, I want to ask whether this is normal without feeling silly for asking. Can you miss someone this much after they’ve gone silent? Because apparently I do. And for the first time, I’m crying over him.
