I’m in a long-distance dominant/submissive relationship with a woman who lives with her partner. He knows about our relationship, is comfortable with it, and even enjoys that we talk. It’s an arrangement everyone knows about.
The distance is what brings me to my question. I’m interested in tasks I could give her that would express our agreed dynamic when we aren’t physically together. We have set very few limits so far, and I’m trying to work out what that could look like in daily life.
Part of what I’m looking for is familiar submissive structure: something that gives our roles a presence beyond our conversations. The more complicated part is that I’d also like that sense of my taking the lead to exist when her partner is around.
There’s an element of symbolically taking his place that appeals to me within the dynamic. He is on board with our relationship, but that general comfort doesn’t tell me exactly how any particular task would fit into their shared home.
So that’s the question I’m sitting with: what kinds of mutually agreed tasks could carry that feeling across the distance, including when she’s with her partner?
