My husband and I are on vacation, and I keep finding myself walking behind him. We’re both 31. I hadn’t expected keeping pace with my own spouse to become a recurring item on the itinerary.
It’s happened several times during this trip. He walks ahead, and I’m left feeling like we’re going to the same place independently. I want him beside me. To me, that’s part of being considerate when we’re out together.
I’ve told him how I feel more than once. This isn’t a preference I’ve kept secret while hoping he would discover it through advanced husband intuition. I’ve said it, we’ve discussed it, and then I’ve found myself behind him again.
Today, I lost my patience. I asked him to step to the side of the road, away from other people, so we could talk. To be clear, I didn’t physically push him. I initially used the wrong word trying to describe that part in English. I asked him to move aside with me.
Then I said, “Listen, what are you not getting?” I told him I found it inconsiderate and rude, especially after explaining so many times that it bothered me.
His response was that he was already slowing his pace a lot, and that I should make an effort to catch up with him, too.
So apparently, while I’ve been wondering why he keeps leaving me behind, he’s been considering himself a man exercising considerable restraint. We have very different accounts of the same walk.
I understand that his natural pace may be faster than mine. What upset me was hearing that response after repeatedly asking for something that feels small and meaningful to me. I wanted us to walk together. By the roadside, we were arguing about whose effort counted.
I’m still upset about how he answered, and I know I approached that conversation already angry. From his point of view, he’s making an adjustment. From mine, I keep having to ask to be beside him. Am I overreacting to the distance between us?
