My boyfriend and I had our first time together last night. It was a first for both of us, so neither of us arrived with much practical experience. I hadn’t watched much porn, either. My expectations were less a detailed itinerary and more a general belief that things would happen.
The beginning was lovely. He took his time with me and was surprisingly good at helping me feel good. I felt comfortable with him, and when we both wanted to go further, we did.
That part was much less eventful than I’d expected. I noticed some pressure, but otherwise didn’t feel very much. Before we had really found a rhythm, he finished. The main event had apparently opted for an abbreviated performance.
I was a little disappointed, mostly because I hadn’t known what to expect and was still trying to work out what I was feeling. He apologized, but he was also attentive and helped me enjoy myself in other ways. There was plenty about the evening that I liked.
I love him very much. I was happy he felt comfortable being that close with me, and I didn’t want one very brief part of the experience to become the thing he remembered most.
We tried again later. This time I could feel a little more, although I don’t know why it was different. We still couldn’t quite get things working smoothly, and the second attempt ended quickly too. Our practical experience remained modest despite the additional research.
We giggled about it, and I hugged him. I wasn’t pretending everything had gone perfectly; I just wasn’t upset with him. He was already trying to figure out how we could make it better, and I didn’t want him feeling insecure.
I’m happy we shared it. I’m also curious about what might help us feel more comfortable and enjoy that part more next time. We’ve established that we can laugh together. How do we get a little better at the rest?
