I matched with a man on Bumble about two weeks ago. He was about to leave town for a week and wanted to meet right away. I was busy, so I suggested waiting until he got back. He agreed. It seemed like an easy enough start.
Then he returned, and I didn’t hear anything. Three days later, I messaged to ask whether he still wanted to meet. I was interested enough to follow up, and I figured there was no reason to guess when I could ask.
That was last Friday. He said yes and suggested meeting a week later. I agreed and asked when and where.
Eight p.m., he said, someplace in a particular area. I said that sounded good. We had a time and a general location, so I expected we’d pick an actual place before the date.
A week passed without another word. No restaurant, no bar, no meeting spot. There wasn’t anything new for me to respond to, and I’d already been the one to restart the conversation and ask for the details.
By last night, I decided it wasn’t happening and made other plans. I didn’t send an announcement. As far as I could tell, we still hadn’t finished arranging the first plan.
This morning, he messaged to ask whether we were still on. Apparently, from his side, we were.
I explained why I’d made other plans. He replied, “Okay then.” That was the whole response. He didn’t suggest a place or ask about another day, and the conversation ended there.
Now I’m wondering whether we understood that week of silence differently. Maybe he thought eight o’clock in a general area was enough to hold the evening. I thought we still had a date to finish making.
I wasn’t expecting daily messages from someone I hadn’t met. I was expecting to know where to show up. Was I being difficult, or was it reasonable to stop holding the night open?
