A lighthearted marriage column.
Fairytales tend to end at the wedding. This is a sensible editorial decision: several chapters about agreeing on a thermostat setting would slow the pace.
Love conquers all
Love does a great deal. It has yet to move a damp towel from the bed without assistance. The problem is not a shortage of devotion; it is that each spouse believes the other has noticed the towel.
You will always be in sync
After enough years together, you may finish each other’s sentences. You may also discover that one of you has been discussing dinner while the other has been answering a question about Saturday. Familiarity is impressive. Telepathy remains unreliable.
Every date night will be magical
Sometimes there are candles and a good restaurant. Sometimes there is a frozen pizza and a mutual decision to put the phones away. The pizza evening can be lovely. It helps if nobody describes it as “basically the same as Paris.”
The right couple never argues
Two people can love each other and disagree about money, noise, visitors, and whether “I’ll do it later” refers to a recognizable period of time. The fantasy is not that disagreements disappear. It is that somebody finally explains what later means.
Wedded bliss is a permanent setting
Some days are affectionate and easy. Others involve listening to a joke you first heard during the engagement. You know the ending. You may even supply it. This is either intimacy or a minor public service.
A good marriage still has ordinary afternoons, unfinished errands, and meals assembled from whatever the freezer will admit to containing. Romance can live there quite comfortably. It just has to make a little room for the laundry.
