Last month, I started talking to a man I met on Instagram. We live in different states, so everything between us has happened through messages and calls. We flirt, stay up late talking, and send affectionate messages. I’m 23, he’s 24, and I’ve started liking him.
He’s also engaged. His fiancée is 23, and they’ve been engaged for almost a year. I knew that while I was enjoying his attention. It wasn’t something I discovered after I’d already gotten attached.
One thing that struck me as strange was how much he disliked the idea of me being involved with other guys. He had a fiancée, but somehow the thought of me seeing someone else bothered him. I noticed the contradiction even while I kept talking to him.
A few days ago, both of them deleted their engagement photos. I don’t know exactly what happened between them or what those missing pictures mean. I do know he was having a rough day over it. He posted about feeling depressed, and he still doesn’t seem to be doing well.
That same day, though, he was sending me romantic videos. He told me he was ready for me and everything that comes with me. Then he asked whether I wanted to fall asleep on the phone with him. We did. It felt nice, the way those calls usually do.
That’s what makes this hard to admit. I’m worried about what happened, and I still enjoyed being close to him. His affection didn’t stop while he was upset about his relationship. If anything, he now seems more serious about me.
He was already pursuing me while they were engaged. I participated, and I feel guilty about that. But I don’t know whether their relationship has ended, what part I played in what’s happening, or what he actually means when he says he’s ready.
The photos are gone. We’re still talking. I don’t know whether I helped break up an engagement or what I’m supposed to do with the closeness that’s still here.
