When you have sex, do you make sure your partner finishes? I’m curious about the honest answer, including the times when things don’t work out neatly.
“Make sure” sounds simple until I stop to consider it. Does it mean asking what feels good? Taking more time? Staying interested in your partner’s pleasure after you’ve finished? Or does it mean treating an orgasm as the only acceptable ending?
Those are different things, and I’d want to know which one someone meant.
There’s something appealing about being with a person who pays attention and wants you to enjoy yourself. But I can also imagine that attention becoming pressure if every encounter has to produce a particular result. Nobody wants to feel they’re holding up the evening by having an uncooperative body.
So when people say their partner always comes first, or that they never leave a partner unsatisfied, I wonder what that looks like in practice. Do they ask directly? Have they learned each other over time? How do they respond when their partner says it probably isn’t happening tonight?
I’m equally interested in hearing from people who don’t make finishing a priority. Is that something both partners are comfortable with? Does satisfaction mean something different to them? Or is it a conversation they’ve never really had?
I don’t have a tidy personal story to attach to the question. I want to understand what people actually do together: how they show they care about each other’s pleasure, and how they know when both people are happy to stop.
