I met a woman at university, and for about two months, getting to know her was going very well. She seemed put together and a little quiet at first. Once we started talking, she was relaxed, friendly, and easy to be around. We had chemistry. We even went on a date.
Then I discovered her connection to the hospitality industry, and apparently several people in my life required a briefing.
She had mentioned helping out at her parents’ business. I thought that sounded nice. When she invited me over, I found out the business was a pub.
I was surprised. Somewhere along the way, I’d pictured her working in a library. She hadn’t told me she worked in one; I had simply assigned her a workplace based on being quiet and speaking nicely. A rigorous hiring process.
The actual place had a cozy, family-run feel. She was sweet while working there, too. She helps out two or three days a week, and nothing about seeing her there changed how much I enjoyed her company.
My parents weren’t enthusiastic. Working in a pub, they said, wasn’t exactly a plus. Some friends were more openly judgmental and tried to talk me out of pursuing things with her.
I’d heard negative stories about other people in that line of work, but I couldn’t see how those stories established anything about her. We’d spent two months talking. That seemed like more useful information than somebody else’s unfortunate experience with somebody else.
I also thought the job was pretty cool. She was helping her parents run their business. The library position I’d invented for her offered no obvious advantage, apart from existing entirely in my head.
There are practical things I wonder about. Late nights could make arranging time together harder. Different schedules might take some working around. Those seem like reasonable questions if we keep dating.
What surprised me was how quickly everyone else arrived at a verdict. I still like her. We still get along incredibly well. I’m trying to work out whether there’s a realistic problem I haven’t considered, or whether I’ve just discovered that her part-time job has a larger advisory committee than either of us requested.
