The night before Halloween, I was at a club when a woman and I made eye contact. She came over, and we started dancing. As openings go, this was generous. I didn’t have to figure out how to approach her. She had already handled that department.
I think I asked her name. I also told her I liked her hat. These are both perfectly serviceable things to say, although together they don’t amount to a particularly extensive conversation.
Soon afterward, she left.
That kind of sucked. I had been enjoying dancing with her, and I would have liked it to last longer. I don’t know whether anything I said had something to do with her leaving. The hat received positive feedback; beyond that, the available evidence is thin.
On Halloween night, I danced with another woman, and that went fine. So I can’t even claim a consistent pattern. One encounter ended quickly, the next was comfortable, and I’m still the person in both.
I know I need more practice. Dancing with someone is one thing; figuring out what to say while it’s happening seems to be a separate skill, one I had apparently expected to arrive automatically.
What do people actually say in that moment? I’d like to have something available after the name and the hat. Assuming, of course, there’s a hat.
