Last week I took a woman on a first date. We made candles, then walked to dinner. I thought the plan was pretty smart. My best friend heard it and said it gave off the energy of a guy who lives in his mother’s basement and has no idea how to date women. We’re both 37, so she’s had plenty of time to learn exactly how to phrase things for maximum effect.
I’d picked candle making because it sounded fun and gave us something to do while we got to know each other. The restaurant was close enough to walk to, which meant we could keep talking on the way over. The whole thing fit my budget, too. I thought I’d found a way to put some effort into a date without spending the whole evening mentally adding up the bill.
My friend suggested a farmers market or cocktails. I can see the argument for a farmers market, although I’ve never looked at a table of heirloom tomatoes and thought, Yes, this is where I’ll do my best work. Cocktails are a tougher sell. I barely drink, and on a first date I’d prefer to be able to finish my own sentences. I’m a lightweight. One drink can become the main activity pretty quickly.
I can see how two stops might sound like a lot when you hear the plan all at once. In my head, it was one thing to do and somewhere nearby to eat afterward. The walk between them was part of what made it seem easy. Would you hear “candles and dinner” and think I was trying too hard?
