Last night, I packed my boyfriend’s clothes and put them near the front door. I’m still trying to decide whether I overreacted. I’m 32, he’s 35, and we’ve lived together during a relationship of a little over two years.
He bought a car about two months ago. Before that, he worked Monday through Friday, eight to four, and I usually picked him up around 4:30 or five. He’d stay home afterward. Since getting his own car, he’s been out later, which mostly hasn’t bothered me.
Yesterday, he came home after work, napped for an hour, and left around 5:30 for a birthday gathering with friends and cousins. By ten, I’d barely heard from him. That was unusual for someone who normally checks on me almost hourly when we haven’t talked.
I checked his location. He was in a mostly deserted parking lot where we’d had a private encounter early in our relationship. Seeing that particular place immediately made me suspicious.
I texted to ask what he was doing. Nothing. I tried FaceTime. No answer. Five or ten minutes later, I called again. While it was ringing, he texted that he was about to leave and was drunk.
His location started moving. I called about three more times without an answer. Roughly two minutes later, he stopped, finally picked up, and got out of the car, saying he needed to pee.
I asked why he hadn’t answered. He usually picks up on the first or second ring, and this time he seemed to avoid explaining. When he got back in, he immediately put in an AirPod, although his phone normally connects to the car’s Bluetooth.
I asked whether someone was with him. If nobody was there, would he show me the passenger seat and the back seats? He repeatedly refused. We went back and forth for about five minutes before he hung up, something else he’d never done before.
That was when I packed his clothes. Ten minutes later, he called twice. I declined both calls. About five minutes after that, he came into the room and asked why I was acting this way.
He said he only wanted me, nobody had been in the car, and he’d been helping a friend who needed a jump. He said he’d left his phone in the car and that I should trust him.
I told him showing me the seats would have given me the reassurance I was asking for. He said I was burning him out. I still don’t know who, if anyone, was there. His clothes were by the door, and I was left wondering whether I’d taken this too far.
