I was talking to my boyfriend at the supermarket when his attention went elsewhere. Another woman had caught his eye, and apparently whatever I was saying could survive a brief interruption.
His gaze started at her jacket and moved down to her butt. This took more than three seconds, which isn’t much time unless you’re standing beside the person doing it. Then it’s enough time to notice the beginning, middle, and end.
I was right there. Still talking. An unusually convenient position from which to observe the whole thing.
I know men notice other women. I notice people, too. A relationship doesn’t come with special glasses that blur everyone except your partner. That would make grocery shopping difficult for several unrelated reasons.
But watching him look her up and down felt different from knowing, in the abstract, that he sometimes finds other people attractive. There was nothing abstract about being beside him while his eyes made the trip.
What bothered me was how openly it happened, in the middle of our conversation. I didn’t need him to announce that another woman was attractive; his attention had already delivered the information.
Now I’m wondering whether I’m making too much of a few seconds in a supermarket. Maybe he would call it an ordinary glance. From where I was standing, it had a fairly complete itinerary.
Would you feel disrespected, too, if your boyfriend checked someone out while you were standing right next to him?
