Yesterday, V and I admitted we like each other. I wanted that conversation to happen. Now that it has, I’m trying to work out how to have a much harder one with my best friend, H.
H likes V too. That’s been part of the situation all along, and it didn’t disappear when V told me her feelings for H were only platonic.
I’m an 18-year-old guy, H is 18, and V is 19. We’re all friends. V and I have known each other for a couple of months, and recently we started flirting. Yesterday, we finally put words to what was happening between us. We want to be together.
I’m happy she likes me back. I also feel guilty knowing that the news I’m excited about could really hurt H. V feels bad about it too, and we both want to tell her.
H hasn’t had much luck with romance. Our environment isn’t especially LGBTQ+ friendly, which already makes things harder for her. Every relationship she’s had has been extremely long distance. I know that history, so I can’t think of this as simply telling a friend I’ve met someone.
The person I want to be with is someone she already wants to be with. She knows both of us. There isn’t much distance available here.
I don’t think V owes anyone romantic feelings, and I know H hasn’t done anything wrong by having hers. That still leaves me needing to say something that may hurt someone I care about. I keep getting stuck on how to begin.
H and I are going out today. V and I want her to know about us, but we haven’t figured out how to tell her. I don’t want to make a big speech that leaves H feeling like she has to reassure me.
How do I tell my best friend that her crush and I like each other—and give her room to be hurt without asking her to make this easier for us?
