I have a question for the guys at the gym: if a woman wanted to approach you, how would you want her to do it? I’m perfectly willing to make the first move. I would simply appreciate knowing where the opening is, preferably somewhere outside the path of a moving dumbbell.
I hear plenty about men worrying that they’ll bother women during a workout. Fair enough. People go to the gym to exercise, and being halfway through a set doesn’t seem like an ideal time to evaluate a romantic prospect. There’s already enough happening with the breathing.
But what if I’m interested? What if I’m the woman who would happily walk over and say something? That seems to solve the question of who initiates while leaving several practical matters annoyingly intact.
For example, is a break between sets actually a break, or are you mentally preparing to do something unpleasant to your legs? Do headphones mean “please leave me alone,” or just “the music in here is a crime”? I don’t want to mistake a man recovering from squats for a man inviting conversation.
I’m not imagining a grand entrance. No stopping the treadmill, no leaning on equipment I don’t understand, no requesting a spot as an elaborate social maneuver. Ideally, this could begin with a normal hello. A modest ambition, although the setting does feature a lot of mirrors.
Would you prefer a little conversation first? A direct compliment? Someone asking for your number as you’re leaving, when neither of you is supposed to be counting anything?
I don’t need a guaranteed yes. A friendly no is manageable. We can both survive it and return to whatever exercise we were avoiding.
I’m just trying to find out what welcome looks like from your side. I can handle walking over. Tell me when you’d actually want me to.
