The week before Halloween, I got off work at midnight and walked into a mutual friend’s house party just as Lena and her boyfriend were breaking up. One friend was managing the situation and insisting everyone leave them alone. I followed instructions and went into another room, where Bri was.
Bri is Lena’s roommate. She also seems to enjoy giving me a harder time than she gives everyone else, which, unfortunately for my ability to act normal, is exactly my type. I like playful meanness and women who are smarter than me. Apparently I enjoy entering conversations at a disadvantage.
That night, she started telling me her muscles were bigger than mine, encouraging me to flex. I have a decent physique, and my arms are probably my best feature. So yes, she found the button, and yes, I pressed it myself.
Since then, I’ve visited Lena a couple of times and kept gravitating toward Bri. On Halloween, I went to their apartment at IU. Bri wasn’t going out until later. Another friend and I got drunk and ended up back at the apartment, where I gave that friend a small assignment: watch us and tell me whether she seemed to be flirting.
The verdict was yes. An encouraging result from a study with one observer.
The banter has increased. We’ve been messaging a little more, and she makes more jokes about me visiting. Halloween feels like the point when something shifted, although I’m still working with teasing and impressions rather than an actual conversation about it.
There are familiar details. My ex was also another friend’s roommate, bisexual, and someone who hadn’t previously been in a relationship. She and Bri have similar interests. Bri has never dated or hooked up with anyone, and I see her as more genuine and focused on her goals.
Some friends think I should leave this alone because it could end badly. Others think she likes me and say I should ask her out. Lena doesn’t know how I feel, and I don’t want to hurt her or cross her boundaries.
I know I like Bri. I have a reasonably favorable report from the Halloween observer. What I don’t know is whether pursuing another friend’s roommate is fair to everyone involved—or whether my friends are about to need a second meeting.
