Should I hold out for my ideal partner, or expect to compromise on some of my standards? I’m asking out of curiosity. I haven’t planted a flag on either side.
The word “ideal” leaves a lot of room. It could mean someone who shares my values and wants a similar life. It could also mean someone who meets every preference I’ve collected, including a few I might struggle to explain out loud.
Compromise is just as slippery. Am I talking about enjoying different hobbies, or accepting a relationship that leaves something essential missing? Both can fit into the same sentence about giving someone a chance, even though living with them would feel very different.
I’m interested in how people make that distinction when there’s an actual person involved. Does a standard become less important because you get to know someone, or do you sometimes lower it because you want the search to be over?
And for people who held out, what made a preference worth keeping? For people who compromised, what made the choice feel right? I’d like to hear what the compromise actually was—and whether it still feels small now.
