I’ve been seeing a lot of wedding videos in which the bride puts on a surprise performance for the groom. He sits alone in a chair while she serenades him, dances for him, or recruits the bridesmaids for a number that appears to have several remaining acts.
Everyone else gets to watch. He gets to be watched watching.
That’s the part I can’t stop thinking about. Whatever the performance is doing, his face has a job. He needs to look delighted, impressed, affectionate, and pleasantly surprised, possibly for longer than he has ever maintained a single expression in his life.
Some of these routines go on for quite a while. And, trying to be fair here, the people performing generally have other careers. The bridesmaids may be wonderful friends. That doesn’t necessarily mean they should attempt synchronized choreography while a roomful of relatives evaluates the result.
I always wonder whether the groom knew anything about it beforehand. Did he enthusiastically agree to the general concept? Or did someone simply bring out a chair, and now this is his evening?
For an introverted man, I imagine it could be a fairly specialized nightmare. There’s no discreet way to step out when you’re the designated audience. You can hardly announce that you’re going to get some air while your new wife is midway through a surprise routine.
Even an outgoing groom might have reservations about receiving a lap dance in front of his nearest and dearest. Enjoying attention doesn’t automatically mean wanting every possible variety of it at a family event.
Of course, some men probably love the whole thing. They may genuinely consider it the highlight of the wedding. I’m watching short videos, so I can’t know what the couple enjoys together.
But I’m curious about the honest answer. If your new bride unexpectedly put on a long performance for you in front of everyone, how would you feel? And what, exactly, would you do with your face?
