I’m 40, and I’ve had a crush on a 26-year-old man in my social group for a while. There have been long looks, occasional winks, cheeky smiles, and enough playful exchanges to keep me interested without providing anything as useful as clarity.
Sometimes he’s attentive. Sometimes he’s distant. It’s an efficient system for ensuring I can reach no conclusion whatsoever.
We hadn’t seen each other for about a month when we met again this week. After the group finished, he came outside, called me by my nickname, and sat near me. We chatted for a while. It was nice to see him, and naturally I was aware of every small thing he did.
Later, an older man in the group told a story about an older woman who had invited him over to sand some drawers. Everyone appreciated the possible second meaning. Furniture restoration briefly became the evening’s main entertainment.
Then my crush turned to me.
“Do you have any drawers you need me to sand? I can come and sand them for you.”
I laughed and told him I’d recently gotten into antique shopping, so I might actually have some drawers that needed attention. Conveniently, this was true. I hadn’t expected my shopping interests to become relevant to my love life, but there we were.
He laughed too. Then he returned to the joke three or four times, with plenty of smiling and eye contact. He didn’t make the offer to any of the other women there. Apparently, I had secured the exclusive local sanding concession.
The part I keep replaying happened when I left. As I walked away, he called after me, loudly: “AYE! Let me know when you get those drawers! I’ve got the sander ready! IT’S READY!”
I turned around, laughed, and told him I’d let him know. He laughed too.
And that was it. No invitation beyond the running joke, no clear statement I could take home and examine without involving hypothetical furniture.
Was he flirting with me, or had he simply found a joke he was determined to get his money’s worth from? I already fancy him, which makes me a deeply unreliable judge of sanding-related enthusiasm.
