I’m asking this sincerely: do marriages without cheating exist? I realize how that sounds. But based on the stories I hear, it can seem as though nearly every marriage eventually includes some kind of infidelity.
The endings vary. Some couples stay together. Others separate. What keeps catching my attention is that cheating appears in so many of the stories in the first place, almost as if the only uncertainty is what the couple will do afterward.
After a while, that starts to affect what I picture when I think about marriage. I want to imagine two people choosing each other and continuing to mean it. Instead, I find myself wondering whether betrayal is something people quietly expect to deal with sooner or later.
I know that hearing about something often doesn’t tell me how often it happens. A marriage where both people remain faithful may not produce the kind of story that gets repeated. There’s no discovery, no confrontation, no dramatic decision about whether to stay. Still, recognizing that possibility hasn’t entirely shaken the impression.
There’s also a difference between saying infidelity happens and saying it’s a normal part of marriage. The first leaves room for all kinds of relationships. The second makes it sound like an experience I should prepare to accept.
That’s where my question sits. Am I hearing a particularly painful selection of marriage stories, or are people entering marriage with a much different expectation of faithfulness than I have?
I’d like to hear about the marriages where neither person cheated. Even if the whole story is simply that they’ve stayed together, and neither has.
