If my husband puts his hand on my shoulder and rubs it with a little pressure, I can feel myself settle almost immediately. A long, smooth stroke down my back works, too, especially if he keeps a steady rhythm. If he barely brushes his fingertips over the same spot, my shoulders go up around my ears. To him it’s a caress. To me it’s somewhere between a tickle and a very tiny scratch.
It took him ages to get how much I disliked that feeling. I can see how a light touch might seem like the gentler choice. From where I’m sitting, it’s the one that makes me want to wriggle away. He knows what I like now, and when he rubs my back, he uses enough pressure that I can actually enjoy it.
The debate we’re still having is over how many other women would agree with me. I think more of us would go for the firmer touch, with slow strokes that keep the same rhythm. He’s convinced there are plenty of women who would happily take the very thing that makes my skin crawl. We’re talking about ordinary touch, too. A hand across the shoulders while you’re sitting together is enough to tell me which kind I’m getting.
So, women who love that light fingertip touch, what does it feel like to you? Do you ask for it when someone gives you a back rub? I’m curious how many of you would be perfectly happy with a touch so light that I’d already be inching over to the other end of the couch.
