Even when a hookup is casual, I like being close. Face-to-face, with room for eye contact and a kiss. Whatever the relationship happens to be, that part of my preference barely changes.
I tend to favor missionary or a chest-to-chest version of cowgirl. The common thread is closeness. Being able to look at someone and kiss them helps me enjoy what we’re doing. I don’t suddenly want more distance because we haven’t discussed a second date.
With a couple of women I’ve had one-night stands with, though, I’ve noticed a shift. At first, they preferred positions facing away from me. Later, after the first round, they wanted something closer and face-to-face. I’ve noticed it especially when I stay overnight.
It’s only happened with a few partners, so I’m not claiming to have uncovered some grand truth about women. Still, when something repeats, I notice. My own preference stays in roughly the same place while theirs seems to change over the evening.
I haven’t asked them about it. These were casual encounters, and they didn’t seem especially interested in getting personal outside of sex. I understood that. Asking someone to explain the emotional significance of a position felt like a fairly ambitious follow-up question.
I do usually try to have a conversation, even if it’s just enough to get past an awkward silence. If they’re interested in cuddling, I’m happy to do that too. So I wonder whether that time together contributes: a little conversation, a little familiarity, and perhaps being close starts to feel different.
Or maybe I’m attaching a whole theory to someone simply wanting to switch things up.
I’d be interested to hear from women who recognize the pattern. Does the kind of encounter change what you prefer, or can your preference change just because you’ve gotten more comfortable with the person beside you?
