Last night, I made eye contact with a woman at a club, and we ended up dancing together almost immediately. For a brief stretch, everything was going remarkably well for an activity I tend to overthink.
I like going out. I enjoy the music, I think I dance decently, and I’m reasonably happy with how I look. I also smile when I talk to people, regardless of whether I’m attracted to them. The basic equipment appears to be operational.
Talking is where things get less reliable.
I’m fairly new to clubbing, and I’m slow at coming up with responses. Some people seem able to produce a playful remark right when they need one. My conversational department prefers a longer processing window.
Still, there we were, dancing together. I asked her name. I told her I liked her hat.
Soon afterward, she went away.
That was the whole exchange. No spectacular disaster, no insult, no dramatic rejection. Just a promising interaction that seemed to run out of steam once I started speaking. The hat had been acknowledged. My work, apparently, was complete.
I took her leaving as a sign that she’d lost interest, although I don’t actually know what changed. There wasn’t enough conversation to conduct a meaningful investigation, and following her around to request feedback would have been a substantial downgrade.
I didn’t take it too hard. I went on with my night. I was still somewhere I wanted to be, listening to music I liked, which is a decent result for an evening out.
But I’d like to get better at the part between catching someone’s eye and watching them disappear into the crowd. I’m interested in meeting women, and I don’t quite know how to make a short conversation feel playful instead of purely informational.
I can ask a name. I can appreciate a hat. What I’m missing is whatever comes after that.
