Sometimes an ex remains someone you like and understand. Sometimes continued contact keeps an argument or an attachment alive long after the relationship has ended. Friendship is possible for some people; it is not a certificate of maturity everybody must earn.
Ask what the contact is doing
Do you enjoy each other’s company as things are now, or is one person waiting for the relationship to restart? Are ordinary conversations welcome, or do they repeatedly become reviews of the breakup? Be honest about the purpose before choosing a label.
A period without contact can give you room to find out. It does not have to be punishment. “I need some space before deciding whether friendship works for me” is a complete explanation.
Set a present-day shape
Friendship may involve less access than the relationship did. Late-night reassurance, daily updates, and assumptions about availability may need to change. Neither person is entitled to the old closeness simply because it once existed.
If either of you starts dating someone else, discuss relevant expectations openly. A new partner does not automatically get to dictate your friendships, but secrecy and misleading explanations are unlikely to help anybody trust the arrangement.
Allow it not to work
You may discover that occasional goodwill suits you better than an active friendship. You may also find that the friendship becomes easier after time has passed. There is no need to decide its permanent form immediately.
The useful test is whether the contact fits the life you are living now. An ex can matter to your history without requiring a continuing appointment in your week.
