My boyfriend invited me to spend Christmas out of state with him and his best friend. I was surprised, then excited. We’d only been officially together for a month, and I’d assumed we would spend the holidays separately.
I said yes. The next day, I asked which dates I should request off work. He said he would get back to me.
He never did.
We’re both 28. We’ve been dating for about six months and official for a little over three. When we’re together, it feels wonderful. That’s part of why I don’t know what to do with the growing collection of unanswered holiday questions.
After he met my family, I invited him to Thanksgiving. They live a few hours away, so it would take some planning. He said he’d have to get back to me.
I told him it was completely fine if he wasn’t comfortable coming this year. Our relationship is new. I could understand wanting to spend the holiday with his own family, or simply wanting to wait.
He said he wanted to come but needed to check with his family. I asked whether he could let me know within a few days. He agreed.
Two days ago, we went to the movies with his friends. As we were saying goodbye, I asked whether he’d spoken to his family yet. He said he was going to do it that night. I asked if he could tell me by the next day. Again, he said yes.
That day has come and gone. No answer, and no acknowledgment that I’m waiting for one.
At this point, I’m assuming he isn’t coming. I could have handled hearing that when I first asked. What hurts is having made an invitation that mattered to me, then having to keep following up on it.
I’ve told him communication is important to me. With Christmas still missing dates and Thanksgiving still missing an answer, this is starting to feel like a pattern.
He’s texting me normally. I haven’t replied, because I’m hurt and don’t know how to begin. I really like him. I also don’t want to keep making room in my plans for an answer that never arrives.
Does this call for another conversation and a chance to fix it, or is it already enough to end something that otherwise feels so good?
