When I tried to explain that I wanted more time with my boyfriend, he offered to stop watching football whenever I was there. I had gone into the conversation hoping for a walk or a game of cards. Somehow, we had arrived at a proposed football ban.
He is 33, I am 29, and we live about half an hour apart. On a free weekend, I can spend 11 or 12 hours on Saturday sitting around while he watches games, followed by much the same on Sunday. He loves all of it: the games, the scores, keeping up with teams. I do not share this interest, although I have become quite familiar with the furniture.
Getting a weekend off is not a routine event for me. I work multiple jobs, run a business and am working toward my bachelor's degree. My business includes overnight bookings, so my availability moves around. Sometimes I have a Tuesday free; sometimes it is a weekend. I cannot always arrange my life around a fixture list.
He asks when I am coming over if it has been a while, so I know he wants to see me. That makes it more confusing to get there and find that being in the same room seems to count as the whole visit.
Usually I end up scrolling through TikTok. Yes, I can hear how that sounds: woman objects to boyfriend staring at screen, submits her complaint while staring at smaller screen. But I am not coming over because I have been longing to catch up on videos. I reach for my phone because he is occupied and I am bored.
My friends are mostly back in my hometown. I do not have a nearby group I can meet while he watches, and driving home brings up the fairly obvious question of why I came over for the weekend. I am capable of entertaining myself. I would just like a visit to my boyfriend to involve my boyfriend.
Our conversation got frustrating. He pointed out that he could be gambling or doing something illegal, but instead he enjoys football. I am glad his hobby is legal. That was never the disputed part. I was trying to talk about balance, and I do not think I explained it as well as I wanted to.
His offer to stop watching when I visit did not feel like the answer, either. This is his home, and I do not want him giving up something he loves and resenting me for it. A few games with a break to eat, take a walk or play cards would be closer to what I meant. Even without football, we often default to a movie or a show; I would enjoy a little variety.
He is more introverted and likes relaxing at home. I am more outgoing and used to being busy. I can understand that difference without wanting either of us to become a different person. Being free does not give me an automatic claim on his whole weekend.
Things are okay between us now. He has suggested activities we could do together, which I appreciate. We have possibilities; we have not worked out a routine yet.
