I’m wondering how much the way we feel about our bodies follows us into our sex lives. If I feel more confident, does that mean I’m likely to enjoy intimacy more? And if I’m uncomfortable with my appearance, does my desire necessarily drop?
Those questions sound like two versions of the same thing, but I’m not sure they are. Wanting intimacy and feeling comfortable being seen are different experiences. I can imagine someone having plenty of desire while still feeling self-conscious about their body.
That’s the distinction I’m interested in. When people say confidence makes sex better, what changes for them? Are they less distracted by how they look? More comfortable expressing what they enjoy? Or simply more willing to believe that their partner likes what they see?
I also wonder about the reverse. If someone feels less confident, does intimacy become less appealing, or does the desire remain while acting on it gets more complicated? From the outside, those might look similar. From the inside, I imagine they could feel very different.
And confidence itself seems like a slippery thing to measure. Does it mean loving your appearance, feeling at ease with another person, or having a stretch of time when you aren’t evaluating yourself at all?
I’m curious about people’s actual experiences, including the ones that don’t follow an obvious pattern. When your feelings about your body changed, what changed in your sex life—and what stayed exactly the same?
