My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and there’s one part of our intimate life I still haven’t figured out: being comfortable on top. He enjoys it, and I’d like to enjoy it with him. The practical side keeps getting in the way.
I’m 38, five feet tall, and about 110 pounds. He’s 43, six-foot-one, and around 230 pounds. He’s muscular, with thick thighs. That difference in our proportions becomes very noticeable when I try to find a comfortable position.
The main problem is support. On a bed or couch, I can barely get my knees onto the surface around him, which leaves me feeling stuck. There isn’t much room to move comfortably. Trying to support myself differently takes so much effort that my knees feel like they might give out. It’s uncomfortable, and I can’t keep it up for long.
We have found one arrangement that works with him seated, but it has me facing away from him. I’d like to find a way to face him and still feel steady. That’s the part we haven’t managed.
After this many years together, it feels a little strange to still be asking such a basic practical question. But being familiar with each other hasn’t changed our height difference or made my knees any happier.
I’m willing to take the lead. I just want to be able to do it without struggling to hold myself up. Is there something about comfort and support that I’m missing, or is our difference in size making this harder than it sounds?
