I’ve been in a relationship before. I’ve flirted. I’ve asked women out. These are things I know how to do when I already know someone, or when the conversation has a manageable attendance of two.
Then my hairdresser hired an assistant, and I discovered a highly specific gap in my social skills.
She started a few months ago. She’s a little younger than me, she’s learning hairdressing, and she immediately caught my eye. She’s also quiet. Most of the time, she follows my hairdresser’s instructions and stands off to the side. I’ve noticed her smile at some of my jokes while I’m talking, but that’s about all I have to go on.
Since my hairdresser and I always chat, I tried bringing up people who are training to become hairdressers. This gave the assistant a way into the conversation that didn’t require me to announce a sudden, passionate interest in her entire life.
She answered a few questions. I thought she seemed shy, although my hairdresser didn’t leave her much room to say anything, either. It’s difficult to establish a conversational rhythm when somebody else keeps playing the whole song.
If we had a moment alone, I think I could ask for her Facebook or Instagram. With my hairdresser standing right there, the same sentence becomes impossible. I’ve known and liked my hairdresser for years, which somehow makes the prospect more awkward. I’d be asking someone out in front of a person who knows my usual haircut.
There doesn’t seem to be a private moment coming. My hairdresser is always in the salon. Meanwhile, I have no idea how long the assistant will work there, or whether I’ll even see her at my next appointment.
I could keep trying to include her in conversation, but her smiles and brief answers don’t tell me whether she’d welcome anything more. She’s at work, and I don’t want to make an ordinary shift uncomfortable.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been this eager to get to know someone. Do I ask, briefly and with my hairdresser there, and give her room to decline? Or keep talking when I can and risk turning up next time to find she’s gone?
