There’s a woman at my gym who has always made me feel a little intimidated. I couldn’t tell you exactly why. For a long time, I didn’t ask her out. I wasn’t especially focused on pursuing her, either, but recently I thought it might be worth going on a date and seeing how we got along.
She was the one who suggested coffee. During our conversation, she told me she was seeing a guy but keeping her options open because he was insecure. We had a great time talking.
Afterward, she started sending me funny reels and heart emojis in her texts. That was new. I tried not to build an entire theory around a small digital heart, although I was certainly willing to consider the evidence.
A few days later, I explicitly asked her on a date. She said yes.
She wasn’t interested in a comedy club or dinner, and neither of us felt like going out. I was tired that day, so I suggested cooking at my apartment and watching a movie. In my head, it was a comfortable way to spend time together and get to know her.
I’m attracted to her. I would have welcomed physical intimacy if we both wanted it. But I wasn’t suggesting the apartment because I expected anything to happen. Unfortunately, an invitation doesn’t arrive with a footnote explaining every intention behind it.
She immediately canceled. She said she wasn’t comfortable being alone at a guy’s apartment. She also explained that although she and the other guy weren’t officially dating anymore, they were still seeing each other.
I respected that. Her comfort wasn’t something I wanted to debate. Since then, though, she hasn’t responded to my messages.
Now I’m replaying the invitation and feeling like I made a mess of something that had seemed promising. The coffee went well. She agreed to a date. Then I suggested my place, and that was the end of the plans.
I don’t know whether the invitation changed how she saw me, whether the other guy was part of it, or whether there’s something else I’m missing. I just know the messages used to include reels and hearts. Now I’m waiting for a reply.
